If you’re new to cuckolding or just looking for some friendly advice, you need to know that being a hotwife comes with its very real and very damaging risks. If things aren’t discussed properly, rules aren’t set and you don’t communicate, being a hotwife can be a recipe for disaster.
Things like break-ups, wives running off with bulls, falling head over heels with your bull, and starting affairs are all common in this community, so it’s important to avoid these things. Cuckolding can blur the lines of what’s okay and what’s not and can mess with emotions on a deep level.
Today I am going to share my experience of falling for a bull, what I learned and how I’ve managed to avoid it happening again for the past 5 years.
Before you read on be sure to also come and check out our cuckold membership, it’s filled with hotwife and cuckolding stories, videos, and submissions.
I Have Fallen For A Bull Before
It was kind of a horrible situation that I have never spoken about before but I want to be open and honest on our blog. In my first year of being a hotwife, my husband Jack and I were so new we didn’t really understand how everything worked and we made some big mistakes.
We wanted to do everything right at the start, keep our private life and kink life separate, follow loads of rules, and try to be as safe as possible.
This didn’t work once we started playing more frequently, rules changed, mistakes happened and everything became blurred for us. We are very honest and we made sure to communicate so that wasn’t really an issue but then all went out of the window when I started seeing one particular bull weekly.
This was due to having numerous guys flake on us, I’d get all ready, we would book a hotel room, just to have a text saying they couldn’t make it an hour before the date. We let this stop us from expanding and because we were new we decided to just keep playing with the bull who was the most reliable.
We started letting actual emotions into our previously ‘sex only’ arrangement and my husband Jack thought it was hot, he liked the ‘idea’ of me falling for someone and so we played the part, my bull and I would spend nights together, joke, watch movies, etc.
It really was just part of the kink at the start, but then it got serious and the second I was thinking about him in not just a sexual way, but in a ‘let’s go see a movie and cuddle’ way, I knew we had to break things up.
We got too deep and it was horrible and awkward when it happened and Jack suffered from a lot of cuckold regret.
However, I learned how to avoid this happening again, that’s why I wanted to write this, I wanted to see if any other hotwife struggles with this and to share my findings and how I’ve stopped it from happening since.
Having Feelings Is Normal
Now, before I move on I want to say having feelings is perfectly normal and most of us are part of this lifestyle because of the amazing feelings and exciting emotions that we get from it. If you had no emotions there would be no point. However, you need to feed the right emotions and stop feeding the wrong ones.
That’s what this is about.
It’s fine to lust after a guy, to want to fuck someone else, to feel good that a hot, smart guy wants you, and to feel a thrill when you’re with someone new. It’s also fine for a cuck to feel these kinds of emotions about his wife too. However…
It’s not good to be thinking about your bull 24/7, to be doing things behind your cucks back, to want to do more than just fuck and enjoy your bull, to start developing actual, real, emotions, not just the emotions that come naturally from hotwifing. If you’re seeing your bull as a potential partner and lying to your cuck, that’s where things have gone too far.
How To Avoid Developing Deep Feelings For A Bull
I want to highlight how to avoid these feelings. Now, sometimes it’s inevitable but learning how to stop these feelings and communicate with your partner is the key. You need to ask yourself a few questions and enter this lifestyle with clear boundaries and goals, which I go into more below.
Work Out What Becoming A Hotwife Means To You?
For me it’s a way to explore my sexual side with different men, I do it to experience more things sexually and because I have a high sex drive and life is too short not to experience things I enjoy. My husband Jack also loves being a cuck and this fuels his kink.
Most of us want to keep it about just the sex, so, if hotwifing means anything other than making you feel empowered, sexy, and explorative and instead you feel it will mean you can feel what it’s like to fall in love again, then this kink is better of a fantasy for you because it would be hard to play that close to the edge without getting burned.
Asking yourself these questions helps you outline what you really want from this lifestyle.
What Do You Want?
Next, you need to ask yourself and pick what it is and what you want from being a hotwife.
Do you enjoy group sex, threesomes, dating, one-night stands, giving random blowjobs, sex clubs, big-dick, average dick, condoms or no condoms, chastity, bi-sexual play, clean up, voyeurism, the chase, being dominated, Interracial, older, younger? What it is that turns you on? What makes you want to be a hotwife?
What parts of the lifestyle do you like and what would your dream hook up look like. Know exactly what it is you want from opening up your relationship like this.
Use your answers as a guideline, you can send your answer to bulls to let them know what you’re into and how you want things to go. It helps keep things in your control and also if you know where you want things to go it’s easier to get them there.
You can also do a list of what you don’t want, as it can also help make sure you stay on the right track. Also, get your partner to do the same and make sure you are both on the same page.
Enter This Lifestyle With Clear Boundaries
Falling in love with your bull can happen, however, you can make it much harder for this to happen by setting up some clear and concise boundaries for you both to adhere to:
Communication: If you feel like you’re getting feelings or attached to your bull talk to your husband about it. You should communicate at all times and especially before you do anything regrettable, but if you catch it early it’s a lot easier to fix and constant communication will stop you from distancing your partner from the problem.
Rules: There may be some things inside of your relationship that you want to keep just for you, body parts, sexual acts, and other intimate things. Create some rules that make sense to you and your relationship and ensure you are both on the same page.
No Deep Talking: A bull is for enjoyment, the same as a hotwife. Don’t try to have late-night, deep conversations with your bull, there’s no need to open up in that way, especially if your husband isn’t present.
Day Dreaming About Your Bull: Keep it sexy, think about what he did to you, how much fun the sex felt, but don’t start daydreaming about running off together, for that matter don’t daydream about anything other than the sexual side of things.
No Over Night Stays (especially at the start): Some of us love overnight stays with our bulls, but when you first begin fooling around with a new bull, before you know your emotions it’s good to have clear boundaries with your bull.
Personal Time: Still have date nights and quality time with your husband. Once you are done with the whole cuckolding/hotwife scenario, you are still a normal couple, and remembering this is absolutely key to a healthy relationship.
Lust and Love: Lust is a tricky one, it can feel like love, even stronger sometimes. It’s hard to manage at the start but it gets easier as you learn to differentiate thrill and excitement from actual love.
Humiliation: If your partner isn’t into humiliation, then it’s good to not talk bad about your partner to your bull, he isn’t there for that and if humiliation is a part of the kink, then know when to switch it on and off.
What Kind Of Bull Relationship You Want?
It’s time to know what you are looking for in a bull.
I’ve had times in my life with both of these types of relationships and both come with different pros and cons. It’s okay to explore but remember as I mentioned before always communicate your wants and feelings with your partner.
There are two common types of bulls that most hotwives stick too:
One Exclusive Bull: You have one bull, you may even be his only hotwife. You play a few times per month, you’ll get to know him more and deeper parts of the kink become easier to explore. With long-term bulls, you may even both go the unprotected sex route.
If this is what you want then you will need stricter rules in place as it’s much harder to stop yourself from developing feelings when you’re building comfortability and familiarity with someone over a long period of time.
Multiple Bulls: You may go to sex clubs and play with multiple partners who you don’t even chat with, have one-night stands, random hookups and sleep around. You will play wife with a few different bulls, take them as they come, and explore a multitude of men.
This is a better route to go if you fall in love easily. It’s much harder to build emotions when you’re playing with different guys and not spending tons of time with anyone in particular.
The only negative is that depending on where you live, it can be hard to find good bulls, so you may find it hard not to use the same one consistently, however, this can be made easier if you’re happy to travel, go to lifestyle clubs, use cuckold safe dating sites and keep yourself active.
Picking The Right Bull For You
It’s all about your own preference, however, at the start, I’d always recommend going with an experienced bull who understands the small intricacies of your and your partner’s kink and who is prepared to go slow and help you both grow your fetish.
My favorite bulls I’ve played with have actually been married and part of the swinger lifestyle. They have just as much to lose as you do, they understand the process and are usually more gentlemanly (in my case).
They aren’t usually interested in building deep emotions, unlike younger less experienced bulls who may not understand exactly what they want from being a bull just yet.
The Fantasy Of Love (blurred lines)
A big part of being a cuckold for some cucks can sometimes be the fantasy that you will develop feelings and impulses and run away with your bull.
Playing this up, having fun with it is fine, but most cucks don’t actually want this to happen. So, be careful when you’re roleplaying it with a bull, and just be sure to keep it roleplay and not the real thing. Remember fantasy vs reality and what makes it so much fun to fool around with is that everything isn’t real.
So, Your Wife Fell In-Love With Her Bull
Is it too late, have you already fallen deep in love?
Don’t worry! It happens, it doesn’t mean you have to break up or that your relationship is over. It’s just another challenge for you to get over.
When I fell for a bull, I didn’t stop loving Jack, I still loved him so much, I just had feelings for someone else. You should try to nip these feelings in the bud the second that they arise, but sometimes it’s too late and powerful and in that case, you need to know when it’s time to take a break from the lifestyle and just reconnect with your partner. However, sadly, for some couples, this does spell the end so it’s really important to keep that in mind before embarking on this lifestyle, always know the risks and understand how you can avoid them.
Why Having Emotional Attachment To A Bull Is Bad
Loving and caring for your bull is natural and normal but being in-love and have an emotional attachment to your bull can be bad and almost always spells disaster for most couples and here are just some of the reasons why, in my experience, it’s a bad idea to be attached to your bull:
Players: Not to group them all into one category but a lot of bulls like the idea of you falling for them and some will try and make it happen, but they like the idea of it, they don’t actually want you in that way. They want to see if they can make a happily married woman leave her husband, it’s a hot idea, but if you actually do fall most of the time they won’t be there to catch you.
Grass Is Greener: When you’re fooling around behind your cucks back and you think every day is going to be filled with lust and excitement like that with your bull, you’re wrong. The grass always feels greener on the other side and 9/10 it never is. Maybe your bull is your soulmate and maybe being with him will make you happier, I have seen it before, it’s not unheard of, but it is rare.
It’s A Fantasy: You embarked on the hotwife journey to broaden your sex life and have new experiences, having an affair was not part of the program. Being a hotwife is fulfilling a fantasy, enjoying the roleplay and thrill, falling for your bull isn’t what it’s supposed to be about.
Your Bull Isn’t Your Husband: A bull is usually dominating, sexy and caring. That’s their kink, just like being a hotwife or a cuck is yours. Your bull is usually better than your husband, for a reason, it’s a fetish and a fantasy, they want to be your sex bull, not your husband.
Know When To Stop/Keep It A Fantasy
Roleplaying and keeping it as a fantasy can be lots of fun and there are lots of ways you can do it without actually sharing (try this method). This is sometimes the best thing for hyper-emotional people as it means you can live out your fantasy without any of the risk and all of the fun.
If being hyper-emotional isn’t you and you just fell for someone this once, it might be a good idea to just take a break, focus on your relationship and resume when things have healed and you are both ready to try hotwifing again.
How To Stop Your Bull Falling For You
It’s not always you that falls in love. If you’re playing with younger bulls, first-timers to the lifestyle, or spending large amounts of time with a single ball it isn’t uncommon that they develop feelings that can end up bringing extra drama into your life that you don’t need.
It’s easy to like the idea of a hot, smart, hung guy falling for you.
However, trust me, it seems better than it is.
The reality is jealousy about the relationship you have with your husband, ultimatums, and more than anything it’s the tone and energy towards you that changes and especially towards your husband. It goes from being a bit of fun to being heavy and intense where you are sucked into the scenario and pushing your husband away.
It’s not possible to always stop this, but just drawing a line and being clear on what you both want and not going past that usually works well.
Referring back to picking a bull, it does help if you pick a more experienced bull who understands the fantasy and doesn’t want anything real, they just want fun.
Does Sex Always Lead To Love?
However, some hotwives do need deeper connections to have enjoyable sex with their bull.
If he’s attractive, you have chemistry and a deep connection and he is your type then it’s not unrealistic to think that deeper feelings might happen. For some falling in love is just what happens, especially when sex is involved.
For others like myself, I can look at a bull as a hot guy with a nice cock that I’m going to use, enjoy and then after he is gone I’m going to get back to my real life, perhaps thinking about the good sex we had here and there and bringing it up around Jack, my husband.
Have You Ever Loved A Bull?
Let me know in the comments if you struggle with emotions, how you deal with them and if you’ve had anything like my experience happen to you before.