Since we opened up our inbox to our readers, we have had incredible questions coming in from you all, some didn’t want to be answered publically but some readers, like Brittney, were happy to have their questions answered for all to see in the hopes of it helping others in the same situation and getting even more feedback from other members of this lifestyle in the comments.
Our reader Brittney is open to the idea of sleeping with another man in front of her husband, she is just scared of it ruining their relationship. What should she do? Well, I am here to answer that questions for her and for any of you asking yourself the same thing.
Question: My husband wants to watch me sleep with another man, what does it mean?
From Brittney a curious reader of our blog who sent us an email on our submission page (original email can be seen here)
Hey Sarah, I came across your and your husband’s blog while searching for help after my husband bravely confessed his biggest sexual fantasy to me.
I’m not sure if you can help, but I’ve been with my husband for over 7 years, we are in our late twenties, we are really close and I’d do anything to make him happy, both sexually and non-sexually. We got married quite young but things have been great in our marriage.
A few nights ago he spurted out the truth when we were having a talk about kinks, fantasies, and ways to spice things up when he told me that he would love to see me have sex with another man.
I was pretty shocked and I probably reacted quite badly at first.
I thought guys were supposed to hate the idea of their wives with another man. It would kill me to see him with another woman.
I quickly got over my shock and asked him a million and one questions.
Things like who with? he told me it would have to be a stranger that we both liked.
I asked him if he would join in and he said he wanted to just watch at first and if I liked it maybe we could try him joining in from time to time.
In my shock, I asked him if he wanted to roleplay this happening or if was he actually being serious and he deadpan replied: I am being serious.
My questions about jealousy arouse and he told me jealousy was going to be a part of it but his kink was stronger than that and he knew there was a risk but it was a risk he wanted to take.
After my tirade of questions, all he asked me was, would I want to do it?
I nodded slowly, the horny part of me really wants to try it out, it seems like a no-brainer. In my head it sounds really hot, the idea of him watching me, maybe joining in and me exploring a new man. But I’m not sure if it will break everything, maybe we are not ready for something like this. How do you even find a guy that isn’t going to be weird, how do you deal with emotions?
I don’t want to ruin what we have, but he really wants to do it and the idea is really growing on me. Does this mean that he is a cuckold and is this normal?
Too Long; Didn’t Read For Question: My husband has confessed to me that he really wants to watch me have sex with another man. It has been a fantasy of his for years and I have no idea what to do.
Answer: From Sarah
Part owner of Cuckin.com and a devoted hotwife to Jack. I’ve been shared, swapped, and on solo dates. I’m with a guy who loves to share me with others so I understand your question on a personal level.
Hi Brittney, I’m going to answer this to the best of my abilities as a woman who had a similar experience when I first discovered this lifestyle.
The first thing I wanted to mention is that it’s really amazing that you’re both open enough to have talks like this. Keep that strong and you will have a much easier time opening up and speaking out if you do decide to have a journey into this lifestyle.
I would have your husband read this guide, it’s an intro to cuckolding and how to introduce it into your life effectively. It is important to note however that labels don’t matter at this stage, it may be that your husband enjoys some aspects but not all, and that’s perfectly fine, what matters is that you’re both comfortable and having fun. Labeling yourself or your husband as a cuckold, stag, voyeur, hotwife, vixen, or anything in between isn’t important at this stage.
If you don’t want to dive straight in, you don’t necessarily have to even fulfill this fantasy with anyone other than you and your husband present (read about our famous webcam method), there are lots of ways to complete this fantasy on your own, you just need to take your time and talk it out. Once you have done this, you may both realize you are happy to keep it a fantasy or you are ready to introduce a real person.
No matter how you do it, it can be such a nerve-racking experience, this is how our first time went down and you will see it was filled with awkwardness, angst, and a whole lot of firsts. Becoming a hotwife isn’t always a walk in the park (read this first-time hotwife’s experience) but it is achievable and completely normal and natural to be scared and hesitant.
Your marriage seems strong, you both seem happy and your husband seems as if he wants to try something new. If you are both on the same page about his fantasy, you can make things work so keep on asking him those questions!
You asked me if your husband asking you to sleep with another man was normal and I get asked that a lot, with good reason, I completely understand being unsure.
Firstly, as someone who runs a cuckold/hotwife lifestyle website, I can tell you that this fantasy is completely normal and you would be surprised by how many people enjoy it, you only have to have a quick look on any porn site to see a lot of the highest viewed videos have a sharing aspect, be it MFM threesomes, wife swapping or just watching your wife with another man.
In the book titled ‘tell me what you want’, DR Justin J. Lehmiller surveyed over 4000 people, and when asked “Have you ever fantasized about watching your partner have sex with someone else?” Over half the heterosexual men in the study had, had this fantasy before. The results are staggeringly in favor of this fantasy, making it way more normal than people realize.
Another interesting finding to note is that on Pornhub’s yearly review of 2021 they found that people watching “group sex”, and “threesomes” had grown by 40% worldwide and became the 7th most popular search in the UK for men and 4th most popular for women. They also found that swapping, swinging, and cuckolding grew by 168%, so it’s become a lot more popular than it ever was.
In terms of finding someone to join you in your bedroom, I recommend these dating apps to find a good bull, there is a ton of information to be found in there and it will show you all of the different ways you can find the right person.
You mention in your question being worried about emotions and even falling in love with the person you sleep with, this hotwife emotion advice goes through that exact issue and it’s definitely worth reading up on.
However, I would say that communication and understanding are key. Be patient with one another, air your concerns and always be open with your partner. Have rules, do your research, and know your marriage is the bond that holds you together, not the silly sex or the fun you have with others.
If you have any questions about cuckolding, sharing your partner, swinging, or anything else cuckin-related. Send it to us and we will get back to you.
Sarah 💕
Quick Breakdown of Answer:
- Do your research about what you both want from this.
- Communicate everything with your partner.
- Make sure you are both on the same page at all times.
- Separate sex with others from your marriage and consider it just something fun and different.
- Take your time and do things slowly (this is very important).
- Understand how many people out there have this kink and how normal it actually is, you are definitely not alone!
Both man and women where not created to be monogamist creatures, and they have the capacity of loving more than one at a time, Our present monogamist system comes from Church and to insure inheritance to your own blood line. But this is not the plan for nature. It is an instinct for man to fertilize as many females as possible and for the female to chose the best choice available for her unborn. We humans are privileged in that we can enjoy sex every day rather than every cycle when the female is on heat.
My name is Pheonix,
My husband introduced me to hotwifing/ cuckolding recently and I’m scared and very self conscious as well as low self-esteem. How do I over come these issues so we can both explore this new fantasy of his with confidence? I guess my problem is I get in my own way and don’t know how to overcome my issues. If you could help me I would greatly appreciate it.
I’ve spoken to loads of people who have had the same struggles, even myself, the first few times sharing or playing with others my nerves were awful and I was worried about everything, the thing that I’d probably tell myself is that instead of dating and doing things solo/in a threesome, the first experiences are sometimes better at an adult event or at a sex club (if you have any good, well-reviewed clubs near you), a lot of the time you can go to a sex club and just be a fly on the wall, you can get yourself a drink, people watch and if the moment feels right you can then try playing, it’s usually so easy to get involved and really natural. That way you can get a feel for it, hopefully feel more confident and see if this fantasy/lifestyle is for you both. – Sarah <3